No one had warned me about that! Cinderella is a beautiful transsexual woman. I want a burst of honesty in one of those boxes. We're expecting at least a few laughs and, if you dare during his set, lock outs too. I think we are the descendants of people who are very wary and very cautious about stuff. The materials archived, stored, and presented here, are copyrighted by their respective contributors, and may not be saved, re-transmitted, republished, or reformatted by any means, electronic or mechanical. You wanted a wee bit of attention? Well, they did the same thing the Spartans did. What else has been happening? How long have you known what a Muslim is?.
Get in touch: Everything in this website is unofficial and may be horrifically wrong. Cancer research gets done on animals. Do you know what I love about Jihadi John? Americans making a movie about what Vietnam did to their soldiers is like a serial killer telling you what stopping suddenly for hitchhikers did to his clutch. Do you know the main place they send Iraqi refugees… Fucking hell… So, boys. You want to fuck a moose, you better have a plan, yeah? What the fuck is going on with this caveman? Glaswegians drive forty miles to get Krispy Kreme doughnuts.
A wee joke from God, that. An old guy asked me to help him cross the road. Maybe they deliberately cut social spending and attack groups like social workers, so that there are always plenty of orphans for them to fuck! Any copyright material mirrored on this site is intended for private personal study. Before that guy from the Lostprophets came along. A straight guy that likes the gay look, a gay guy that likes the straight look, like myself? They change the meaning of words on us to control us.
I thought you were into it. We take language too literally. I watched Michael McIntyre the other night. This might be quite a long hour. America have a mercenary army now. Night falls again, you run again. Stuart Hall got 15 months.
Women now look at my naked body in the same fearful way that pensioners look at snow. Half a dozen championship footballers, 40,000 tramps, Lulu and Bible John. What about that wee guy that raised all the money for cancer research? ScotRail would never get us to the fucking camps on time. Keep an eye on the tabloid headlines, it should be a blast. Maybe we should stop and use the money to build a giant waterslide park for people with cancer. Hurt Like You've Never Been Loved is not his best show but it's still better than most of the other stand-up comedy shows from other comedians.
I honestly believe there are children alive today underneath the floorboards, and in the walls of the Houses of Parliament. But that will sober you up. My kids are both at a great age, actually. Ayers Rock is just a load of dead Aborigines with a tarpaulin pulled over it. He flies around the world, apologising to all the children that actually have to make the presents. They take you away from your family, age seven or eight, they put you in a single-sex environment, then they do what any mind-control operation does, they bore you with Latin and cricket and double Latin and then very suddenly, sodomy. But I do think it was funny.
Nigel Farage, who to me always looks like a frog trying to escape from a scrotum. I fucking love the Orange Walk, actually. You can register to vote at 16, but you have to be 18 before politicians stop finding you attractive. If I had to build and maintain the ride, I would stretch piano wire across the bottom of the rollercoaster so that everybody finished the ride with a photograph of themselves with two thumbs up and no fucking head. Stress, you just put up with.
I feel awkward just letting the gasman into the hallway. I thought that my arsehole was gonna burst into song. All his jokes are full of sarcasm and most of the time very wrong. And then a few years later, a guy in a ski mask pulls you into an alley and rapes you. I love the Old Firm, man.